


The Legacy of Rudolph After the Apocalypse

by aflawedfashion



Category: Defiance (TV)
Genre: An entire scene dedicated to a store clerk giving Nolan and Berlin shtako, Christmas, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Mentions of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Post-Series, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 04:17:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8953393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aflawedfashion/pseuds/aflawedfashion
Summary: After Amanda reveals she never celebrated Christmas as a child, Nolan enlists Berlin's help to throw a real family Christmas.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This technically takes place after "Halloween Under a Digba Tree," but there's not really much of a need to read that one first.

There was a time when December 25th was an extraordinary day filled with hope and love, a day of legend and celebration known as Christmas. On that day each year, entire communities came together to help children believe in the kind of magic adults had long given up on, but in 2051, while Christmas was still celebrated by some, that magic had become a faint memory, left behind in another lifetime.

But that year, as the snow fell on Christmas Day, turning Defiance into a winter wonderland, Amanda Rosewater could practically feel the Christmas magic that belonged to the old world, a world she would hardly believe existed if she hadn’t been alive before its destruction. As she peered out her bedroom window at the bright white sky and snow covered streets, the magic of Christmas was crossing through time, falling like snow from the sky into a town that treated Christmas like it was just another day.

She closed her eyes, trying to remember the mythology of the holiday, of a jolly man in a red suit soaring through the foggy night sky in his sleigh, delivering presents all across the world with the help of his flying reindeer. At the front of the herd stood an unlikely young reindeer with a glowing red nose. Despite his unassuming appearance, he was no ordinary reindeer. He was the most important reindeer of all time, the one they wrote songs about, the one every child loved most, but as hard as Amanda tried, she couldn’t remember his name.

“Who was the reindeer with the red nose?” she asked, still facing the window, searching her brain for the answer, none of the names she was coming up with sounding right.

“I’m sleeping,” Nolan mumbled from across the room.

“If you were sleeping, you wouldn’t have responded.”

“Hmph,” he muttered, squeezing his eyes shut and burying his face into the pillow.

“What was his name?” she asked again, but was met with silence as Nolan failed miserably at pretending to sleep, struggling to keep the smile off his face. “I know you know and I know you’re awake.”

While Nolan snuggled into his pillow, giving no indication he was willing to give up his charade, Amanda grabbed a small decorative pillow off her armchair, and hurled it at him. The pillow bounced off of his face, landing on the floor beside the bed with a thud, and for a moment the only sound in the room was the ticking of her cat clock, not a word from Nolan. Amanda narrowed her eyes, disappointed in her failure. She’d have to break out the big guns.

Taking the feather topped quill pen off her dresser, she walked as silently as possible to the bed before running the tip of the feather along the inside of his arm, trailing towards his armpit until he couldn't keep a straight face and he grabbed the pen out of her hand, throwing across the room.

“Ok, ok, ok, you win!” Nolan said through a burst of laughter. “I surrender. His name was Rudolph, I swear! No need to resort to torture.”

“Thank you,” Amanda said, looking down at him with satisfaction. “Was that so hard?”

“Yes, actually, it was,” he answered, yawning. “Why are you asking me about fictional reindeer in the middle of the night anyway?”

“Sorry to break it to you,” she said as she crawled back into bed next to him, unable to resist the temptation of a warm bed or the man in it, "but it’s 8 A.M.”

“Eight A.M., Christmas Day,” he said, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as Amanda rested her head on his chest, trying to make the most of every second of this morning. “I shouldn't have to wake up before noon if I don’t want to.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works anymore.”

“Just tell me it isn't snowing,” he said, pulling her closer, holding her like armor against the drafty morning air.

“Practically a blizzard.”

Nolan groaned, but Amanda couldn't have stopped herself from smiling if she had tried. Everything about this morning felt exactly how she thought Christmas morning should feel. It was a morning so serene that she half expected to be woken up from a dream any moment.

“At least I have deputies I can force to shovel the snow and dig out my roller,” he said, his face nuzzled against the side of her neck. “This kind of snow buries everything.”

“But that's what makes today seem like the perfect Christmas, doesn’t it?” she asked, repositioning herself to look into his eyes.

He furrowed his brow, meeting her gaze. “This is your idea of a perfect Christmas? No tree? No presents? Just waking up early for work?”

She stretched forward, pressing a kiss against his lips. “Not just work. I’m waking up with you next to me, snow that makes this post apocalyptic town look like it should be on a Christmas card, no one calling to report a violent crime that needs urgent attention, and…” She paused, biting her lip. “There’s a brand new, unopened bottle of scotch on my desk waiting for me.”

“Mmm,” he said as he ran his hand across her arm, visibly losing his battle to stay awake. “Those are all wonderful things, but what about Rudolph? Don’t you need Santa and Rudolph for a perfect Christmas… like when we were kids?”

“I didn’t even remember his name.” Amanda shrugged, refusing to feel sad over forgotten fictional characters when she was so happy with the reality of her life. “He can't be that important, and besides, I never had a Christmas like that when I was a kid, so I don’t need one as an adult.”

“No Rudolph?” he asked, suddenly alert.

“No,” she said, shaking her head.

“What about Santa?”

“Nope.”

“A tree with lights and ornaments?”

She laughed softly, trying to picture her mother chopping down a tree and decorating it. “Definitely not.”

“Religious objections?”

“No, my mother didn’t take a religious stance on anything. She just didn’t like Christmas. Too cheery for her or something.”

“So the woman who was so overcome by a burst of nostalgia she threw the most lavish Halloween party I’ve ever seen didn’t celebrate Christmas as a kid?”

“Nope.”

“Well, you missed out on one of the best parts of the old world.”

“It wasn’t so bad. I mean, sometimes I wanted Christmas like the other kids, and there was this one time...” She paused, smiling sadly as a memory hit her as vividly as if it were yesterday. “I was four, and I tried to get in line to see Santa at the mall, but my mother grabbed my arm and whispered into my ear that it was all an act, that all these parents were lying to their children. Then she pulled me away. I stared at the reindeer with the bright red nose, silently pleading with him to come to life and show my mother that Christmas magic was real, but he didn't and that was the end of that.”

“That’s tragic,” Nolan said.

“No, tragic is falling asleep to the sound of gunfire while holding your baby sister. Not believing in Santa is normal.”

“Yeah, not believing in Santa is normal _now_ , but not when you were four.”

“Are you about to tell me you had a storybook Christmas?”

“Yeah, actually, I did,” he said, a nostalgic smile playing across his face. “It was the most important day of the year for my family. We would all come together, laughing and singing by the fireplace, packing mountains of presents under an elaborately decorated tree. That last Christmas before everything changed is what I think of when I remember them. It was before I watched them all die, before I was 18 years old and the only surviving member of my family. For a long time after their deaths, every time I thought of them, I would picture my brother’s last breath or my sister kneeling down in front of me to tell me we were orphans, so I refused to think about them, refused to talk about them. Now, when I think about them, I think of those Christmases. That's how I want to remember my family. That's how they'd want to be remembered.”

“Then stay in bed,” Amanda said, brushing her hand across the side of his face.

“What?

“If this is your most important day of the year, then you should stay in bed like you want.”

“Just like that?”

“I am your boss, and you deserve to have Christmas. Plus,” she said, smiling before pressing a quick kiss against his lips, "you deserve an extra day off. I can always count on you to be there for me even if it’s three in the morning and you’re off duty.”

“That’s because I’m already in your bed and you whack me with a pillow if I try to ignore you.”

“Oh shut up,” Amanda said, rolling her eyes and trying not to laugh. “I'm being gracious. Don’t make me regret it.”

He nodded, dropping his self deprecating act, holding her closer to plant a string of kisses along her neck. “There's just one thing.”

“What,” she asked, closing her eyes.

“Can you take the day off too?”

“No,” she said, trying, but failing to maintain her composure.

“Ok.” He nodded slowly. “I'll accept that. I'm not a greedy man, but...” he whispered into her ear, “can you be 20 minutes late?”

She bit her lip, closing her eyes as his hand worked its way up her thigh. “Yeah, I think I can manage that.”

\---

As much as Nolan wanted to spend his morning lounging in bed, pretending he didn’t have a care in the world, not two minutes after Amanda quietly closed the door, leaving him alone in a dark, silent room, his eyes popped open and he found himself staring intently at the marks on the ceiling. As he tried to count imaginary sheep jumping over a small wooden fence, hoping the mind numbing task would lull him back to sleep, he couldn’t stop thinking about how long it had been since he had properly celebrated Christmas.

When he first took Irisa into his life, he didn’t think of her as his daughter, didn’t even try to treat her like anything more than an unusually short traveling companion. He was barely capable of having a friend, much less a daughter. It had been too long since he had felt anything for another person, too long since he had been a good person, but the rage fueled facade he had buried his emotions beneath had irreversibly cracked in that last year of the war.

Despite every horrible thing he had done, little Josh Nolan, the kid who watched Star Wars too many times dreaming of a peaceful life with aliens must have been buried deep down in him somewhere. That kid made him drop his weapons in the Battle of Defiance, and that kid made him take a grumpy Irathient orphan on the road with him.

Without ever meaning for it to happen, Irisa had become the only person in the entire world he truly cared about. She had changed him, given him a reason to live for the first time since his sister had been killed. He didn’t just live for her, he would have died for her. He didn't know how he had been so lucky, and he knew he didn't deserve it, but he had a family again, and as December approached, he kept remembering how happy he was with his childhood Christmases, so he wrapped a small present and gave it to Irisa as a sign that she was his family, his daughter.

Irisa smiled with all of her childish enthusiasm as she unwrapped the present, but she didn’t understand the strange human holiday he was trying to force on her. She was still incredibly apprehensive of anything related to religion, so he left that aspect out of the story he told her, focusing entirely on the myth of Santa Claus, a myth she was already far too old to believe.

His first attempt at Christmas with Irisa wasn't exactly a wild success, but he still gave her a present every year on December 25th. He had ordered a gift from Cedars weeks ago. Wrapped in red paper, it was ready for their dinner that night. As was their tradition, she would put on a show of mocking him about elves and flying reindeer, but he knew she’d be disappointed if he ever failed to give her a gift on his silly human holiday.

He also knew Amanda didn’t celebrate Christmas, but only a few humans in Defiance still celebrated the holiday, so he never gave her lack of enthusiasm a second thought. Christmas was a night he took his daughter out for a simple dinner, and he was fine with that, but Amanda’s story about the mall Santa was haunting him. It left him with an overwhelming desire to bring them all together as a family for a real Christmas celebration, like Amanda should have had as a child.

The next thing he knew, he was wrapping a scarf around his neck and stepping out into the snow, his mind racing as he formulated a plan to make this the best Christmas he had had in over 30 years. It wouldn’t be easy to pull off in a single day, so he hurried to the lawkeeper’s office to find help.

“You’re late,” Irisa said, briefly glancing up from the knives she was sharpening as Nolan walked through the doors, knocking snow off his boots.

“Vacation day,” he replied, scanning the room, refusing to making eye contact with Irisa. She wasn't the person he was here to see. He needed help preparing, but he didn’t want her to know his Christmas plans just yet.

“Why?” she asked, not seeming to take any genuine interest, her attention already returned to her knives.

“Because it’s Christmas,” he said, hoping she didn’t have any more questions. With so little time to spare on small talk, he was grateful that had never been much of a problem with her.

“And?” Irisa asked, lightly shaking her head as she flipped the a knife over in her hand, examining it carefully.

“That’s it.”

A teasing smile tugged at the corners of Irisa's mouth as she rolled her eyes, setting her knives down. “Amanda gave you an extra day off?”

“Yes...”

“It's cheating to get your girlfriend to give you special days off,” Irisa said, and Nolan realized it wasn’t small talk he had to worry about taking up his time. It was Irisa giving him shit, starting their Christmas tradition early.

“Can we save your criticism for later. I'm sure you've got a list of reasons to criticize me somewhere you can write this one down on.”

“Fine,” she said, his lack of cooperation quickly causing her to lose interest in him and return to her knives. “What did you want, anyway?”

“Where’s Berlin?”

“Working.”

“Working where?”

“There was a domestic disturbance call from the Tarr house. Lovers quarrel of some sort. She went to go check it out.”

“The Tarrs?” he asked, his stomach dropping with the fear that his plan would be undermined by the Tarrs’ usual antics. “Shtako.”

“What?”

“That entire household is a domestic disturbance on a good day. A call about a domestic disturbance from that house is equivalent to a call about a triple homicide from anyone else. It might actually be a triple homicide.”

“It was a servant who called it in. Berlin didn't seem worried.”

“You let her go alone?”

“I'm not allowed to go on those calls, remember?” Irisa said, annoyance dripping from her voice.

Nolan sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I know.”

“I’m a danger to everyone involved,” she said, repeating what he had told her last year after she was so blunt with her feelings about a man who cheated on his wife with two women that he almost pulled his gun on Irisa and his wife. Irisa claimed it was unfair to single her out when none of them, except maybe Poole, was particularly good tempered.

“I remember.”

“There was an intervention after the last one. You all agreed that I could go after as many dangerous criminals as I want, but Berlin or Poole get these calls. I only go if no one else is available.”

“I know, but look on the bright side, kiddo, you’re the best of us with kids, and you’re pretty good at talking people down from committing violent crimes when they aren’t related to romantic entanglements,” Nolan said. “We all have different skillsets.”

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t help us right now, does it?”

“I know,” Nolan said, his mind already halfway to the Tarr house. “Look, I'll go check it out. You stay here.”

\--

Nolan's concern quickly abated as he approached the Tarr house, the front door wide open, revealing Berlin was having a fairly calm discussion with two Casti handmaidens, not a Tarr in sight. If he was lucky, the heads of this household would have nothing at all to do with this.

“What’s going on?” he asked Berlin.

“These two,” Berlin said, nodding in the direction of the handmaidens. "They got into a fight, and someone called us about it. Wouldn't be a big deal, just a lovers’ spat, but whoever made the report claimed that there was a gun in this room, and they were afraid one of them might kill the other.”

Nolan narrowed his eyes, trying to asses their body language, figure out if there seemed to be any real threat in this situation. “That true?” he asked, but both women trained their eyes on the floor rather than answer.

Berlin looked at Nolan with an eyebrow raised and an exhausted look on her face that said this was the only response she had been able to get out of them since she arrived.

“Let me guess,” Nolan said as he walked slowly around the room, inspecting every inch of it. “The gun's illegal, it belongs to Datak, and you won’t rat him out because of your strong Casti loyalty. Look, any other day, I’d take pleasure in finding a reason to throw Datak Tarr’s pale white ass in a jail cell for the night, but right now, I’ve got other things to do.”

Then he spotted it, the perfect place to hide a gun. Reaching behind a cabinet, he popped the false back off, and pulled out a handgun so small that if someone aimed it at him, he would probably have laughed in their faces.

Nolan flashed a fake smile at the handmaidens as he handed the weapon to Berlin. “I’m going to take that gun, and we'll call it a day. Either of you pull a weapon on the other, I will be back here to throw you and the Tarrs you’re so loyal to in jail. Clear?”

They glanced at each other for a moment, a silent debate playing out on their faces before they each nodded at him in that overly polite Castithan way that meant they agreed to his terms.

“Good,” he said, ushering Berlin into the street, barely bothering to say goodbye.

“You really think that’s good enough?” Berlin asked as the door closed behind them. “Whatever they’re mad about is probably still a problem.”

“Nah, right now they’re more mad at us than each other, and besides, those two couldn’t hurt a fly. With the Tarrs nowhere to be seen, I'm pretty sure it’s just foreplay. I’ve seen them around the NeedWant. They like to roleplay Shanje in their spare time.”

“Then why didn’t they just say that? I wouldn't have cared, and we wouldn't have had to waste anyone's time. A little weaponry in the bedroom, I mean, we've all tried that a few times, right?”

Nolan opened his mouth to respond, but couldn't seem to find the right words. “This town…” he trailed off shaking his head. “I'm surprised more people don't die in the NeedWant.”

“What, you're in a relationship for a while and suddenly you're a prude?”

“The gun was loaded,” Nolan said, knowing she was teasing him, but still feeling somewhat defensive. He'd been called a lot of things in his life, but prude was never one of them. “Someone could have died.”

“It's no fun if there's no real danger.” Berlin shook her head, her disappointment with him written on her face. “You really have become a prude.”

“I am not a prude because I don't want to get shot while having sex!”

“If you say so,” she said raising her eyebrows, making a show of not believing him. “Where have you been, anyway.”

“Day off.”

“And you came to work to help me handle a couple of 5’2” handmaidens with a gun that's barely more than a toy? What, you don’t trust me? Don’t think I can take them?”

“Oh, I know you can. I actually need your help with something else.”

“What?”

Nolan grinned, all his Christmas excitement rushing back to him. “Chopping down a tree.”

\--

“Shouldn’t we bake cookies or something?” Berlin asked Nolan as he scanned the store, hoping he would be able find everything he needed. “I've watched a lot of Christmas films. There are always cookies involved.”

“Do you know to bake cookies?”

“Not well, but I could manage… I think. I mean, I only tried once and I burned them, but that was a learning experience. I think I could get it right this time.”

“We will buy the cookies. We buy everything. Saves us the time and the embarrassment.”

“Lawkeepers!” The store clerk said with enthusiasm as he popped his head out from the back room. “What brings you here today?”

“We need to decorate,” Nolan said as Berlin was already filling a basket with lights and anything else that could be used as an ornament for their tree. “And presents. We need presents.”

“What kind of presents?”

“For starters, something pretty, earrings maybe.”

“For her?” The clerk asked, pointing across the store where Berlin was rummaging through a bin.

“Ew, no,” Berlin said, popping her head up, a grimace on her face. “He's my boss. I don't want earrings from my boss.”

“I just thought you two might still be…” He waved the thought away with his hand. “Never mind, I can never keep up with you people.”

“Us people? What us people?” Berlin asked, growing defensive. “Humans?”

“No. You people who run this town. Always swapping partners.”

“We do not swap partners,” Berlin snapped.

Nolan arched his eyebrow. “Well, I mean… we have…”

“Yeah, ok,” she said. “But that was a long time ago and it was was just a little fun between friends. It's not like we dated. It shouldn't earn us a reputation.”

“If that was it, sure, I'd agree with you,” the clerk said, leaning across the counter, his eyes practically sparkling with the fun he was about to have with them. “But you, big guy, you also slept with the mayor.”

“Still am, actually. Monogamous,” he added, hoping this would be the end of their conversation. “No partner swapping involved.”

“Maybe not anymore, but you've been here a long time now, and I've been here even longer. I still remember seeing you and the mayor’s sister getting pretty heavy.”

Nolan sighed. “Yes…”

Berlin chuckled. Now that the clerk’s judgement was aimed at him, her offense seemed to entirely disappear. “You did get around.”

“Really,” Nolan said, turning to face Berlin. If he was going down, he was going to take her with him. “Miss “loaded guns are completely normal foreplay” is going to criticize me?”

“Don’t worry, big guy,” the clerk said, looking at Berlin, “I haven't even started with her yet. I know she slept with your daughter.”

“How do you know that?”

“The NeedWant staircase is in a very public location.”

Berlin rolled her eyes. “Fine. I have.”

“And you both slept with the deputy.”

“What, no, I take full responsibility for my past, but you can leave me out of that one,” Nolan said, holding his hands in the air. “I have not slept with any deputies.”

“No, her and the Irath, they both slept with each other, and they both slept with the same deputy.”

“Poole? Poole’s gay. None of us have slept with Poole.” Berlin looked at Nolan and teasingly said, “That I know of.”

Nolan laughed. “All clear. Monogamous, remember?”

“No, the other deputy, from years ago. Tommy.”

Berlin sighed. “Yes, we both dated Tommy.”

“Now who gets around,” Nolan said nudging Berlin in the arm, trying to take some of the edge off. He could sense the anger building up in her the longer this conversation went on.

“Like I said, I can’t keep up,” the clerk said, handing Nolan a display case of earrings. Nolan hoped that signaled the end of their conversation, but Berlin wasn't done.

“So we have a lot of sex. Since when is it a crime to have a lot of sex?” Berlin asked, clearly hoping Nolan would back her up on this fight, but Nolan tried to remove himself from the conversation, focusing on making his choice. “You’re a Castithan,” she continued as Nolan studied the display case intently. “Your culture isn’t exactly known for chastity.”

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t have sex. I’m just saying, there are more than 6 people in this town. Branch out next time. Well,” he paused, thinking. “I guess you’d have to now. There aren't many people left in your circle of friends that one of you hasn't slept with… except maybe the Tarr kid.”

“He’s too young for me.” Nolan smirked. “I’ll leave that one to Berlin.

Berlin abruptly turned away from Nolan, her eyes transfixed by the floor, and Nolan practically dropped the earrings he was holding in his hand as a grin spread across his face. “You didn’t?”

“No,” she shook her head unconvincingly. “We never had sex.”

“Five minutes ago, I would have believed that statement without question, but now I don’t think I do.”

“Fine, we made out in the NeedWant once. That's the full embarrassing truth, but it was just one time. One time only. We won a bet against Poole and Irisa, so we used our winnings to get drunk, and we made a regrettable decision. It meant nothing, really, less than nothing.”

“When did this happen?” Nolan asked.

“That summer you were gone on the Omec ship. Things were weird that summer. Alak and Irisa may have almost dated that summer too. I don’t know. She doesn’t talk about it, and it is one of the few times I’m surprisingly ok with not knowing something.”

“I can't believe it,” Nolan said.

Berlin opened her mouth to say something, but before she could utter a single word, the Clerk said, “You people put on a better show than the theater. Mind if I go get some snacks before you finish this?”

“No need,” Nolan said, turning to face the grinning clerk. “Show’s over. We have a lot of work left to do.”

Berlin mumbled something to herself that Nolan couldn’t quite catch before saying, “How do you know everyone we’ve slept with anyway?”

“Everyone in town gossips about what they’ve seen and it spreads. You flaunt your affairs in public like you’re doing just now, and it ends up all across town.”

“You’re going to tell people about this?” Berlin asked, stepping forward.

“Oh, yeah.”

Berlin looked like she was winding up to punch the man in the face, so Nolan stepped between them. “Ok, I’ll take this pair here,” he said pointing to a pair of gold earrings. "And everything in her basket.”

“Lovely choice,” the clerk said. “I’m sure whoever you’re currently sleeping with will love them.”

\--

With a sigh, Amanda threw her coat in the general direction of the coat rack in her office, feeling like she should have stayed in bed with Nolan that morning. It was a long day and she couldn’t even be bothered to properly aim, the thud of her coat hitting the floor letting her knew she missed. She knew she should pick it up, but it was too late for her to care. Her mind was already focused entirely on that bottle of scotch she had been waiting all day for, but before she reached her drink cart, she was distracted by a box wrapped in red paper, placed carefully in the center of her desk.

She smiled curiously as she picked up the note left on the top of the box. “I’ll meet you outside at 7. Wear this,” it said in Nolan’s handwriting.

Ripping the paper off the package, showing no care not to make a mess of it, she found a long gold dress with a plunging neckline and a pair of earrings. They were beautiful, far more formal than anything she was accustomed to wearing.

As she glanced up at the clock, hoping she wasn’t late, her mood had been completely transformed in the seconds since she had entered her office. With just fifteen minutes to spare, she closed the door to her office, making one final check to make sure no one was looking for her and changed into the dress.

Amanda made her way through the nearly empty building, stepping out into the cold night air feeling like she was walking on air, like the world around her was just a backdrop to her night. She hardly noticed the children building a snowman, the people hurrying home from work, or the street vendors trying to make a bit of scrip before everyone cleared out for the night. All she saw was Nolan, his eyes running the length of her body like she was the only other person out here tonight.

“It's beautiful,” she said as their eyes met.

“I knew you'd like it,” he said, his bright blue eyes shining, and she wondered how it was possible for someone she spent so much of her time with, someone she knew better than anyone else, to seem even more handsome in an instant.

“That's just the first part of your present,” he said. “I couldn’t get a sleigh ride through town, but...” he trailed off as he reached into his pocked. “I did find someone to lead your sleigh when I finally do, and I promise I will.”

“Ruldoph!” She nearly shouted as Nolan handed her a tiny, plush reindeer with a bright red nose. Taking the toy in her hands, she held it as if it were the most precious gift she had ever received, more precious than the earrings she was sure cost him more than he should have spent. “Where did you get this?”

“I had it made.”

“Since this morning?”

“If you pay five times the usual price, people can work surprisingly fast.”

“You’re amazing.”

“It’s just a toy.”

“No,” she said. “You really are amazing. And this dress... I feel like an old world movie star.”

“We need to look the part tonight. I cancelled my simple dinner plans with Irisa and made reservations for four at the best restaurant that would have us.”

“Which is anywhere because I’m the mayor,” Amanda teased. She couldn't help herself.

“Hey, hey, don’t turn smug in the middle of my romantic gift, but yes. I dropped your name to get our reservation, happy?”

“Extremely.”

“Now that your ego is satisfied, let's get back to the reason I wanted you to meet me out here. Turn around,” he said, nodding in the direction of the Darby building.

She looked at the building, lightly shaking her head, not sure what she was supposed to see, but then she noticed the candles placed in the front windows. Just as she thought that was what Nolan wanted her to see, strings of lights hung in each window on the first two floors and around the doorframe flickered on, illuminating the square with a warm glow.

“How did you do all this?” she asked, her jaw practically hanging open in aw.

“Berlin and I spent all day on it. We had to call in a few favors and deal with the mockery of a store clerk, but we got it done just in time. She and Irisa are waiting for us inside next to a real Christmas tree. I think she even convinced Irisa to wear a dress, and pretend she loves Christmas.”

Amanda smiled, trying to hold back the tears in her eyes as she leaned against him, pressing the back of her head against his chest, not wanting to look away from the lights. “You did all this because I didn’t believe in Santa when I was a child?”

“No,” Nolan said, wrapping his arm around her back, snuggling her against his side as he guided her inside. “I don’t care that you didn’t believe in Santa. A story about a man living with his elf friends on the north pole somehow made less sense then than it would now, and even the most fervent childhood believers always figured it out soon enough. The thing is, even after children discovered the truth, Christmas went on because Santa was never the point of Christmas, family was. I care that your family didn’t give you those memories, and I want you to have them. I want my daughter to have them. I want us all to come together as a family, and celebrate what we have because we are family. We’ve all lost so much, but we have each other, and we should celebrate that.”

“Thank you for being my family,” Amanda said as they arrived at her door, a wreath hanging from a hook, and a plant she couldn't identify fashioned to look like mistletoe hanging from the doorframe. “You know I would have kissed you without the mistletoe.”

Nolan flashed her a shameless wink. “I wasn’t going to skip out on the best tradition, the only tradition that guarantees me a kiss.”

“I wouldn't want you to, not after everything you did today.” Amanda stood on her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed him, her hands running through his hair, his hands wrapping around her waist, their bodies pressing together.

Berlin chose that moment to swing the door open, shouting, “Merry Christmas!,” and with a startled laugh, they pulled away from each other, Nolan’s head dropping in disappointment.

“Merry Christmas,” Amanda said, taking Nolan's hand as Irisa popped up behind Berlin, handing them both mugs of hot chocolate.

“You like it?” Berlin asked as Amanda stepped into her living room, taking in the strings of lights hanging from the ceiling, stockings stuffed with candy, a fully decorated Christmas tree, and a platter of cookies frosted with Rudolph’s face on them.

“You baked cookies?” Amanda asked, her eyes widening with surprise. She didn’t think she’d ever seen a single person in this room turn on an oven, their cooking skills focused on more practical things than bakery.

“Don’t worry. We bought the cookies,” Berlin said. “But Irisa and I frosted them, so I think we deserve a little credit for that.”

“They’re perfect,” She smiled, pulling Berlin and Irisa into a hug, ignoring their surprised faces and the look they were no doubt exchanging over her shoulders. “Everything’s perfect.”

“Hate to intrude on a moment,” Nolan said, picking up a cookie, “but this morning your definition of perfect left a lot to be desired.”

Amanda laughed, knowing he was right. “This time, I really mean everything is perfect. Even more perfect.”

“I think you need a new word. You've overused per-” Nolan stopped mid word as Irisa snapped the cookie out of his hand. “Hey!”

“No cookies before dinner,” Irisa said, looking at him like she'd ground him if he said anything more.

“I think you're forgetting who the parent is here, and besides, why would you put cookies out if I wasn't allowed to eat them?”

“So Amanda could see them,” Irisa said, speaking as if she were explaining a simple concept to a child. “We’ll eat them after dinner when we open presents.”

Amanda smiled, watching them bicker about ruined appetites as Berlin turned to her. “It's strange being a part of this, isn't it?”

“Yeah,” Amanda said, her eyes fixed on the tree. “I never thought I'd celebrate Christmas like this.”

“I meant this whole family thing. It's strange not being here as a guest, but really feeling like part of the family.”

Amanda wrapped an arm around her shoulder, hugging her to her side. “Surreal.”

“And you know, this pretty much makes you the mother of this family of misfits right?”

Amanda’s eyes grew wide. “Do not say that!”

“It’s true.” Berlin shrugged as if it were the most obvious fact in the world.

“It is not!”

“Whatever you say, _mom_ ,” Berlin said, obviously pleased with herself, but ready to duck from the punch she knew she deserved.

“Ok, you're going to pay for that,” Amanda said, tugging at Berlin’s ponytail.

“What, are you two fighting now too?” Nolan interrupted, eating a cookie triumphantly.

“We're not fighting,” Amanda said, "just emphatically disagreeing.”

“Fighting families, another holiday tradition achieved!” Nolan grinned. “Now let's go eat and get drunk!”

“Finally,” Berlin said, pushing them all towards the door. “I was staring at those cookies for an hour, but Irisa wouldn't let me eat any.” She glared playfully at Irisa who rolled her eyes, a hint of a smile on her face giving away her true feelings. “I'm starving.”

Before she walked out the door, Amanda took one last look at the room, at what her family had put together for her. “Merry Christmas,” she whispered to all the family she wished could have been there with them.


End file.
